I got rick rolled at Cold Stone Creamery

It was a day like any other. It was a day unlike anything I had ever experienced.

Sitting there, enjoying my delicious, creamy treat, the unthinkable happened. Out of nowhere, the caramel baritone of a redheaded demigod swirled around my synapses and whispered along my heartstrings, rendering my ice cream an unessential and completely inappropriate accompaniment to the sweet angel lullaby which was making sweet love to all but two of the orifices of my body. A molten sex god was rejoicing in his own dedication to, presumably, me. I was both shocked and awed. How had he noticed ME, such an insignificant little thing, when compared with the beauty and grace of his honed melody, much like that of Icarus' wings, designed lovingly by a dedicated father? But, somehow, some way, he had.

"Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you"

Such words were never spoken, such sincerity never before felt nor seen nor heard. The corners of my eyes began to pool and spill over with fat, salty tears as I heard all that could be mine. Finally! Mine!

I sat, trembling and exhilarated, waiting for my god-man to come retrieve me and take me to the top of Olympus, to cavort with the other immortals. I waited. I watched. I listened for more. I heard nothing.

The silence began to weigh like a bag of sand on my erect, proud shoulders. They began to slump with the flavor of hopelessness in the air and on my soul. Before I knew it, the day had gone and I was sitting all alone, waiting for a light that would never again come on. My sadness overwhelmed me.

This was one Rick roll I would not survive.